It’s scary to think that you may be the only one struggling. Whether the struggle is with your thoughts, feelings, or relationships, it helps to know you’re not alone. “Normalizing” is a big part of our job as therapists. 

Out of all the issues that couples come to therapy to discuss, trust is by far the most common. Trust is essential for a healthy relationship, but it’s also delicate and easily broken. In an ideal world, we wouldn’t need to repair trust. We would be consistently generous, thoughtful, kind, and vulnerable with the people that we love. We would validate, we would empathize and trust would remain intact. 

Every day, we hear it in conversation and we see it on social media. People are bringing up the idea of self-care and asking how to create a more balanced lifestyle for themselves and their families. Self-care is an increasingly common topic of conversation and this is wonderful, because managing stress and anxiety is key to a happy and healthy life.

Avoiding conflict in your relationship does not mean “we don’t have conflict”. What it usually means is we are slowly stepping back from our partners. Oftentimes, an unresolved need (such as validation, support, touch, or comfort) feels like an eggshell on the floor of our relationship. Each one represents a hurt.

Feeling burned out? You’re not alone. In fact, you’re in good company. At any given time, the statistics showing the number of burned out professionals in the U.S. are shockingly high. Our culture has long promoted this as the standard vision of adulthood: functional adult = stress, anxiety and exhaustion.

One of the questions that couples often ask when they first start therapy is, “Can we actually fall in love again?” The answer is a resounding “Yes, absolutely!” But it doesn’t happen easily or accidentally. It happens with effort - with being intentional day after day, and only with the desire from both partners to try to recapture those lost feelings.

It’s no surprise that technology is changing how you can meet with your therapist. You may hear it referred to as online therapy, telemedicine, telemental health, online counseling, virtual therapy, or e-therapy. Regardless of what it’s called, it’s all about giving you more options.

We can all sit here and say that there’s no shame in going to therapy. Frankly, that’s bull***t. There’s been a growing conversation in the last few years about removing the stigma from going to counseling, and this conversation is powerful and important. However, we’re still a long way from where we need to be. Here’s why:

Technology can have a negative effect on our relationships with the people we love. The truth is that when we have a device in our hands, we don’t interact with others in the same way and our relationships are often negatively impacted.

As therapists, we often speak with couples who are struggling to find healthy boundaries in their relationships. They don’t always know that boundaries are the problem, and instead they often state they’re having “communication issues”. However, when we start to explore the issues, we find they have very different ideas about boundaries and how things should play out.

How do we open our hearts after we’ve been hurt? Or feel joy after we’ve experienced heartbreak? Or feel alive when we’ve walked through times of darkness and loss? Each person’s story is unique, but the experience of loss and pain, in some form, is universal. It may not be easy, but it is possible (and it’s never too late) to heal from the pain and restore our trust in the universe.

As therapists we often hear questions like, “How do I help my husband open up to me?” or “How do I deal with my partner being a ‘momma’s boy’?”

On the surface these can be read one way, but what we really hear behind them is the emotional disconnect. It sounds to us like a deep longing for meaningful connection.

Motivation to excel, to achieve our goals, and to do well can be useful in helping us reach our dreams and feel successful. Yet, there’s a limit to how hard and how long we can push ourselves. Trying to “do it all” or drive ourselves too far without a break can lead to additional stress and unhealthy consequences.

‘Vulnerability’ is a word that tends to heighten anxiety in many of us. The word ‘vulnerability’ has natural connotations of danger and risk. At the same time, we hear about how it’s good to be vulnerable and that being vulnerable is what allows people to TRULY connect with us. Oftentimes, when we attempt to be more vulnerable, we’re deterred by the risk of opening ourselves up to possible harm.

We’re all stressed out and it’s no wonder why. Our world has been blown wide open by advances in technology and although there are countless benefits, there are also some serious burdens. We’ve opened up our world and made it incredibly easy to communicate with anyone at any time, but we’ve also opened ourselves up to massive amounts of stress and worry. It’s important to find a way to protect ourselves in order to have a healthy and fulfilling life. 

Happy Pride Month! Throughout this blog, we are writing as a collective “we”. We note that there are those that are reading as a member within the LGBTQIA community and those that are reading as active allies along side the community. We, as a collective, can use this article to process, to reflect, and to restore from our feelings of unsteadiness.

Life changing transitions can span a wide variety of events including moving, beginning a new job, expanding your family, getting married, getting divorced, losing a loved one, or any other situation that requires you to adapt to a new normal. Some life transitions are wonderful and exciting; others are sad and deeply painful. The one thing that they all have in common is…