let’s reflect.
At Good Human Work, we believe that real change takes time. We learn, we reflect, we practice change, we rest, we repeat.
May 1, 2024
Do You Relate?
At Good Human Work, we believe that real change takes time.
We learn, we reflect, we practice change, we rest, we repeat.
This week, we are focused on the human need to connect.
Let’s learn.
As therapists, we constantly hear questions that start this way:
Does everyone…
Am I the only one who…
Do other people…
Is it strange that…
Each of these is a variation of the single most common question therapists hear…
IS THIS NORMAL?
It’s scary to think that you may be the only one struggling. Whether the struggle is with your thoughts, feelings, or relationships, it helps to know you’re not alone. “Normalizing” is a big part of our job as therapists.
It's common to feel self-doubt when we see others' “perfect lives” depicted on social media. It’s common to feel insecure when our friends don’t discuss the reality of how messy, exhausting, and overwhelming life can be. It’s common to feel like you’re the only one who deals with a particular problem, feeling, or relationship struggle. In fact, with many people presenting only their best selves, we’re led to wonder…
“Is it just me?”
Many of us avoid sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences due to fear of judgment, shame, or isolation (not wanting to be seen as “broken” or "a mess”). But when we all avoid sharing, we perpetuate the idea that it’s abnormal to have these experiences, and that we’re doing something wrong if we experience hardship or discomfort.
When we feel isolated and alone in the chaos of life, we’re missing out on a large part of what makes us human: meaningful connection with others.
Let’s reflect.
Feeling isolated and alone leads us to struggle even more with the real work of being human. We’re missing out on being part of a larger community - a group of people who are all in this together. A sense of community allows us to have self-compassion, validation, and encouragement to get through the struggles.
Being real with people requires us to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is SO important, and we don’t see it enough. As therapists, we meet so many people that grew up in households where the only acceptable emotions that could be shown were HAPPY, ANGRY and NOTHING (or “fine”). This leaves out two hugely important categories, SAD and SCARED. Both of these emotions are such an important part of the human experience, but we work to hide these from the world (then think that there’s something wrong with us when we’re experiencing them).
Hopefully when we feel “abnormal", there’s a little voice in our minds trying to reassure us that, surely, we’re not alone. We can’t be the only one with that experience. There must be a community of people out there who go through this too. Right?
WHEN WE’RE VULNERABLE, WE LET PEOPLE TRULY CONNECT WITH US.
Let’s practice change.
We're here to reassure you...whatever it happens to be, you're not alone.
The struggles are more normal than you realize.
Yes, it's normal to have self-doubt and be overwhelmed as a parent.
Yes, it's normal to have issues in your relationships.
Yes, it's normal to have times when you struggle and feel like you won't figure it out.
Yes, it's normal to feel insecure, unsettled, or uncertain about who you are throughout life.
Yes, it's normal to have intrusive thoughts and wonder if you're "crazy".
Yes, it's normal to get overwhelmed by life.
Yes, it's normal to ask for help, seek support, and go to therapy.
Please remember, you’re not alone. We’re all in this together.
