At Good Human Work, we believe that real change takes time. We learn, we reflect, we practice change, we rest, we repeat. This week, we are focused on the human need to protect. At times, we may find ourselves feeling uneasy, exhausted, and in need of healthier boundaries.

Let’s learn.

We’re all stressed out and it’s no wonder why. Our world has been blown wide open by advances in technology and although there are countless benefits, there are also some serious burdens. 

We’ve opened up our world and made it incredibly easy to communicate with anyone at any time, but we’ve also opened ourselves up to massive amounts of stress and worry. It’s important to find a way to protect ourselves in order to have a healthy and fulfilling life. 

So what’s the answer? Boundaries. Taking a look at the boundaries in our lives can be an eye-opening and life-altering exercise. Now, let’s talk a little bit about how healthy boundaries can help us achieve better work-life balance.

Let’s reflect.

How do we set healthier boundaries at work? In our careers, boundaries are the lines that define what we accept and what we do not accept. You’ve probably heard the adage “you teach people how to treat you”. Although it may be cliche, it’s also extremely true - especially when it comes to boundaries in the workplace. Technology enables us to be reached at any time of day or night. It can feel like we’re always on call. In some ways, we might enjoy being constantly “needed", and it may feel like an indication of our success. We may worry that our career trajectory depends on our willingness to "put the job first”, so we feel it’s required to be constantly available. However, when it gets to the point where we’re seen as the office pushover, or the one who will ’swoop in’ to deal with an issue, it suggests things have gotten extreme.

How do we set healthier boundaries between work and home? It’s getting easier and easier to blur the lines between home and work. If you added up the number of minutes in the workday that you were sending/receiving personal texts, mindlessly scrolling on your phone, or checking things off of your personal to-do list, chances are you would be shocked at the result. On the reverse, what would we find if we quantified the number of minutes of “home time” that we spend checking our work emails, corresponding with colleagues or doing “just one last thing” for the workday? It’s easy to feel like we’re never 100% at home, and never 100% at work either. This results in guilt, distraction, stress, resentment, and all kinds of crappy emotions. 

Let’s practice change.

Here are a few ways we can begin to practice healthier work-life boundaries:

• As therapists, we often challenge people to wonder about what would happen if instead of always saying ‘yes’, they warmly started with, “I’d love to help if I can - let me check my schedule and see if I’m able”. This is an example of setting a healthy boundary. If the answer is ‘no’, at least we showed the other person we were willing to help but other demands interfered. If the answer is ‘yes’, we still reminded the other person that we have other things going on and we won't always be available.

• Another way to practice healthier work-life boundaries is to take a look at your daily calendar and consider all of your waking hours. Decide what times will be “work hours" and what will be “home hours”. Here’s an example: I decide that although I wake every morning at 6am, I’m not going to start thinking about work until 7am. At 7am, I’ll allow myself 30 minutes to go through work emails and feel mentally prepared for the workday. I’ll decide to keep my “transition time” for myself and listen to my favorite podcast while drinking a cup of coffee. If I’m working from the office, my commute will be my “transition time”. If I’m working from home, I still make sure to give myself a period of “transition time” to create a feeling of separation between work and home. When I get to my desk, it’s focused work time, so I don’t distract myself with personal stuff until I stop for lunch. At the end of the workday, I set down my work and focus on my family or myself for the first two hours at home. If I feel so inclined, I’ll make myself available to deal with work for another 30 minutes or so, before taking time to decompress and relax before bed. When you’re clear with yourself about when you’re on the clock and when you’re off, it’s much easier to be clear with others.
  

  By doing this, we allow ourselves to really focus on those we care about, and on the work we need to get done. We’re better able to balance it all. Our stress, guilt, and anxiety will fade and we’ll find ourselves feeling calmer, happier and more fulfilled.

Want to discuss your particular situation with a licensed therapist?

And now, let’s rest.